Archives for posts with tag: homework

Every weekday at 7a.m., I – very grouchily – get dressed and munch on cereal, when I’d really rather be sleeping.  Why, you might ask?  I have to go to school!  At noon, rather than enjoy a delicious lunch with my friends, I hole up in the library, studying…for school.  When I get back home, I spend hours working on my homework that’s due the next day.  Sometimes, I stay awake until the early hours of the morning, frantically trying to study for that darned test that I forgot about or finish that essay.  

Even when I’m not at school, I’m surrounded by it: with all of my tests, assignments, and projects, I’m constantly swimming in a pool of school.  Almost constantly.  But when I’m not physically working on something school-related, I’m definitely thinking about something school-related.  This is junior year!  I have no time to be thinking about a social life!

…Well, I guess that isn’t entirely true.  I do have a lot of work, but it’s really important to find a balance between spending time with friends and doing work.  I think I would go completely insane if all I did was work, work, work.  But with my junior year coming to a close, I’m actually really worried about college.  My grades aren’t anything to be proud of, I don’t play a sport, and I’m really not involved in any clubs……

At this point, I think my parents have almost given up on me.  When your Asian mother starts telling you, “You can always go to community college!” – there’s something seriously wrong.   She might be okay with that, but I’m not.  I’m not!  Never!

And that’s the most pathetic part: I’ve set some really high standards for myself, and now that I’m struggling to meet them, I get very easily discouraged.  I guess “below the Asian standards” goes without saying at this point (I’ve been below the Asian standards for as long as I can remember now); the real issue now is that I’m below my own standards.  I have to work super hard!

On the up side of things, spring break is approaching, which means I’ll have plenty of time to……study.  

Joy…

#BTAS

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One of the things I find interesting is intelligence. Today, I was sitting in a small room with a group of friends, when – I can’t quite remember the context – one of the guys announced proudly, “I’m the smartest person in this room!” I kindly asked, “And what makes you say that?” To which he responded, “My GPA is definitely higher than yours. It’s a 4.35.” And then he gloated about his decidedly ‘superior’ intellect.

The thing is, GPA doesn’t really mean much. Sure, GPA is mega important when applying to colleges (it makes life easier for admissions directors), but it’s far from being an accurate representation of one’s intelligence. Smart people don’t always get the highest grades, and a lot of the people who do get the highest grades probably aren’t as intelligent as some of their lesser-performing peers.

Here’s my point: the only thing GPA really measures is one’s ability to get a good GPA. So you have a 4.35 GPA. I applaud you for being good at getting teachers to like you and turning in homework and studying for tests and all the things that contribute to your ridiculously high GPA. Does it make you more intelligent than everyone else? Not necessarily. There is no way to describe a person’s intelligence with words, let alone numbers. Your GPA? It’s just a number. You may go to Harvard, and being able to tell people you got your college education at Harvard is pretty impressive – but what matters isn’t where you got your education. It’s what you do with it.

I feel like I should be extremely happy that I have very little homework to do this weekend, but I’m not. This is really the first time in a while that I’m not stressing over homework, but now that I’m not, I’m stressing over the fact that I have nothing to do with myself. I quit playing piano two years ago, I quit playing basketball last year, and I’m involved in absolutely no school clubs or groups or anything. The only thing I’m doing outside of school (and irrationally worrying my butt off about it) is playing cello–and I’m not even that good.

Tenth grade is almost over, and the last major accomplishment of mine occurred in eighth grade: the science fair. This is sad, because while I may have been 2nd place in the county science fair, I didn’t even rank in the state fair. So. Sucks to be me.

Then there’s the pressure! I should not be feeling this much pressure! Sure, I’m taking AP Calculus and AP European History and Honors everything else, but that’s not where the pressure is coming from. The pressure comes as a result of my personal tendency to compare myself with my sister. These days, it’s been so hard for me to please my parents and so easy for my sister to do so. She can screw up and be endlessly annoying, but because she is so perfect when it comes to everything else, my parents are willing to let it slide. I live with the enemy, and it comes in the form of my little sister. My basketball-playing, track-running, guitar-playing, crafts-making, straight-A-earning little angel of a sister. Not fair, mom and dad. Not. Fair.

And lately, I just have not been performing. I really haven’t. I have been putting much less effort into my schoolwork and have consequently been getting into more frequent arguments with my parents. My mom even likes to tell me that I should “face reality” and not worry about “getting into top colleges.” She is convinced that I am going to go to a community college. This used to be a joke my parents would use to scare me into working harder; now it isn’t a joke. Now it’s what they think is real. Not that there’s anything wrong with community colleges, but my parents’ expectations of me were once so high that they would tell me that I could get into Berkeley or Stanford or Harvard, and to have to bar lowered so much–well, it certainly doesn’t feel good. At all.

Bad as it feels, though, that’s what’s happening, and it’s really forcing me to rethink my ambitions. Looking at my achievements over the past two years, I realize that they might be right and I really might have no choice other than to go to a community college; I have not done anything notable. I may have maintained my grades, but I haven’t done anything else.

I let this get to me more than anyone can imagine. I freak out about it a lot. I’ve discovered that my capacity to tolerate pressure is minuscule. I’ve always been pretty bad at managing stress, but add all the pressures of college and my overall future, I have emotional meltdowns. Not the kind where I’ll be throwing shit around the house and screaming at everyone and tearing my hair out, but the kind where I’ll just start crying. God, I’m such a wuss.

Let it be known that my parents do read my blog, so I will likely have to deal with lectures and possibly even psychotherapy after they read this.

And when I go back to school on monday, I have to put on the “nerdy-genius-Asian girl” act so that people don’t start making fun of me for being un-Asian and whatnot.

Such is my life.

~Hedgehog

Parent-teacher conferences and I do not get along.

I have a bad history with them. It started off in 4th grade, when my split-class 4th/5th grade teacher told my parents I hadn’t turned in my poster about the human digestive system. I’d forgotten about it until the day it was due. Wow, the car ride home was not fun.

In 5th grade, my 4th/5th grade teacher told my parents that I had not completed my chapter summaries for the book, Joey Pigza. I didn’t know the due date until–what do you know?–the due date. I clearly recall locking myself in the bathroom bawling my eyes out for two hours upon getting home.

In 6th grade, my ancient civilizations history teacher kindly informed my parents that I had a D in his class because I did not turn in my notebook for his periodic notebook check. The reason I did not turn it in is because I lost most of of my notes from his class because most of them were on loose-leaf sheets of paper rather than actually in the notebook. I was a wreck.

In 7th grade, my honors English teacher told my parents that I had a D in the class because I was receiving zeroes on multiple homework assignments. Funny how I’d actually completed them and just forgot to turn them in. My parents were relentless in their scolding.

In 8th grade, my Geometry teacher told my parents that I had a C in the class because I was doing poorly on tests, which was a first for me. I bombed the first two tests of the semester because I didn’t realize I had them until he handed them out in class and I thought, I’m screwed. My mom stayed up with me until early morning to make sure I was caught up on all the material.

In 9th grade, my Japanese teacher told my parents that I was not turning in my homework assignments. My parents were not happy. On top of that, my honors chemistry teacher told my parents I was not turning in homework assignments. My parents were furious. I made plans for my funeral on the way home.

In 10th grade, my honors English, AP European history, Biology, and music teachers told my parents I was at the top of my class. I was happy about this. Then I learned that my AP Calculus teacher told my parents I had a B- in her class because I had missed several homework assignments. And my Chinese teacher told my parents I had an A– in her class because I had missed almost all of my homework assignments. Oh boy.

I don’t like parent-teacher conferences. Much as I try, I can never pull my act together enough for my parents to hear nothing but good news from my teachers. My mom and I were discussing this today. She said that I was at the top of some of my classes, but I needed to work on Chinese and Calculus. I told my mom (half-jokingly) that I was at the very bottom of my Chinese class with my A–. This is funny because there are only two of us in the class.

Working on getting it together. I’m just not motivated enough…

LURV,
Hedgehog

Before I continue, I just want to say that no, I have not drawn anything since yesterday. I figured typing the words “art” and “update” in the title box wasn’t really worth it. Moving on.

I am currently in the process of completing my psych homework.

That’s right, I said psychology.

I may have mentioned that I’m taking classes this summer, and today I’ve decided to specify. I’m taking an introductory psychology course, just to clear those cobwebs outta my brain and keep me up and running for at least part of the summer. I also really just enjoy learning about the functions of the human brain, so the class is actually a lot of fun. The only problem I have with it is the staggering amount of homework.

Speaking of work, my school gave us a summer reading list, which I have yet to start on. I feel bad because most of my friends are talking about all the books they’ve read so far, and I can’t tell ’em I’ve read anything. Because I haven’t. Yet here I am, updating my blog.

Short blog today. I like these.

Post up questions, comments, or random stuff!
~hedgehog

Goooood evening, people of the world!  My mood today is:

That’s right.  1) I look awesome. 2) This is exactly how I feel right now.  And here’s why:

Last week was a really really tough week for me.  Grades for our school progress reports were due on Friday, meaning any assignments or tests or projects or whatever that needed to be made up had to me made up BEFORE FRIDAY.  See, see, that was difficult for me to manage, considering when I went to talk to my wonderful History teacher on Wednesday, he informed me–kindly, mind you–that I was missing 3 of my homework assignments.  Which was…(for lack of better words) retarded. Why? Because I had done the stupid assignments, and I guess the grade wasn’t entered or something.  And as if that wasn’t retarded enough, even after I pointed this out to my teacher, he tells me I still need to make up the assignments.  Which was understandable…but it still sucked..

So yes, I pulled an all-nighter re-doing 3 weeks worth of History homework.  On top of having to do assignments I’ve already done, it turns out my wonderful and ever so kind history teacher’s freaking make-up assignments are actually quite a bit more than his original assignments.  So yes, an all-nighter writing 12 pages worth of textbook chapter summarizations and bookwork, while I clearly should have been studying for my Japanese exam on Thursday, and my Math and English tests on Friday.  Yayy.

^ That was awful.  So painful was it that it was hard for me to write about.  But this week isn’t going to be much better: I have my State Testing on Monday through Wednesday, and unfortunately (or fortunately, whichever way you look at it) I have to skip both Monday and Tuesday for my State Science Fair.  Normally, I would be elated to know that I get to miss school, but hey, missing State Testing means I have to make it up. Plus, I’m missing school for…the Science Fair, which is basically school in competitive, science-geek environment form.

About this little science fair of mine:  It was started waaaay back when people hardly knew anything about rockets and computers.  I was looking at the directory of the people who entered the 1954 state science fair, and–ohmahgaud–no ASIANS.  None. Zip. Zero. Nada. Duck eggs.  So then I’m checking out the directory of the science geeks who entered the 1971 science fair, and there they are. Yeap.  And it isn’t surprising that all 4 of them who entered that one placed in either 1st, 2nd, or 3rd in their categories.  So when you look at the list of people who entered this year’s science fair–we Asians DOMINATE.  And there’s actually some competition going on there, because it’s pretty much Asians vs. Asians.  It would be a relief for me to see someone non-asian win, because that would lower the standard for me somewhat.

I am going to the science fair because my teacher really likes my board (which I worked really really hard on).  So I went to the County Science Fair expecting only to have a good time with my friends…and then I win 2nd place in my category.

Don’t get all riled up and start blaming me for meeting the asian standards.  As much as I love to go around telling my friends and people I know that I won 2nd place in my whole category (here we go here we go waitforit), the honest truth is that I won 2nd place–out of 3. Yesss that’s right, people! I came in 2nd place out of 3.  And so now you see that I have yet to meet the Asian Standards (of doom).  

So there you have it.  I’m going to State because I came in 2nd in my category (and now you know the secret behind that). I don’t even really want to go to State!  Ohmahgaud, it’s completely nerve-racking!  Not because I’m sure I’m going to lose, and not because I’m afraid of the judges, and not because I can’t handle any pressure–It’s because I must come face-to-face with…The Science Geeks.  


…Not like I have a problem being around science geeks, either.  It’s just…now I must come to terms with that fact that everyone who goes to the science fair is a science geek. Meaning I, myself, am a science geek.  I suppose there are tons of below-who-knows-what kind of standards people who can be science geeks.  I can be a science geek. The world is ending.

Post up your experiences with teachers, stress, state testing and Science geeks here!  Much appreciated ^^

~hedgehog